“Yeah, I know what ya mean… ”
followed by…
“…the older I get, I’m becoming more forgetful, too.”
“…my body doesn’t feel like it did when I was younger either.”
“…[insert attempt to empathize a symptom here.]”
When I first received my PD diagnosis, I read comments on various Facebook PD pages and groups that contained great disdain for people that minimized or simply dismissed their Parkinson’s symptoms as just being another inconvenience of growing old.
Just as wisdom takes time to brew and acquire, the same holds true for the disdain that the PD Warrior can have when someone suggests their symptom could just be part of getting older.
And I’m beginning to see their point.
I’m not a curmudgeon about it, but as I share awareness of PD through conversations about my symptoms (instead of covering it up), I am starting to hear these types of comments more and more as random symptoms progress and affect me in various ways.
And as an eternal optimist who always gives folks the benefit of the doubt, I do believe their intentions are good as their comments and suggestions are the only way they know how to be supportive in an otherwise awkward conversation.
For example, there have been conversations where I’m talking to someone about PD and mention that there are times that I totally blank on a very common word that I can literally see and hear in my mind but for the life of me just can’t get it to flow down thru my lips. Their reply si typically something like, “I know what ya mean. The older I get, I’m becoming more forgetful, too.” There’s a little bubble that now appears over my head that contains the following thought, “Yeah… except you don’t have Parkinson’s.”
But through grace, I do know it’s just their way of awkwardly giving me a verbal hug.
Or there are times out of the blue when my body is just in a lot of pain. When someone asks what’s wrong, I explain that it’s a PD symptom and they try to empathize by saying that their body is getting more and more creeks and groans as they grow older, too. Yep. That thought bubble appears again. “Yeah, except you don’t have Parkinson’s. But thanks for the verbal hug.”
My encouragement for you my PD Warrior friend is to develop a loving tolerance – GRACE – for others when they try to empathize with you or try to help you feel a little better about your symptom. Doing so will help keep you Shakin’ Not Shaken!
And if you’re fortunate enough to be on the other side of that conversation with a PD Warrior that has felt comfortable enough with you to open up about it, it’s okay to simply say, “Damn! That’s gotta suck!” and then ask to know more about it. That’s the best verbal BEAR HUG you could give!!
